Difficult decision – A dog with lymphoma
There are times when we all agonise over making the right decision, and it drives you to self-destruction. If you are like me, your mind never stops whirring, and within minutes, you can change from being entirely certain you have done the right thing, to being certain it was wrong in every respect. I have been having many of those moments over the last week, as I watched Bella, my 8 year old dog suffer from both cancer and chemotherapy.
Bella was fine during the first week of treatment, and as well as all of her lymph nodes normalising, she had a healthy appetite, eating cooked minced chicken, potatoes, egg, and liquidised vegetables. But as soon as I administered the second drug, Cyclophosphamide, she stopped eating and looked decidedly ill.
The following day, she moved continuously, obviously suffering major discomfort, and by evening couldn’t keep down food or water. She had to be hospitalised. My guilt rocketed.
Why was I doing this? A couple of weeks ago I looked deep into her eyes and saw a passion for living. By nature, she is a happy dog – always wagging, always exuberant – and she wanted more time. I also justified trying the chemo by reading that dogs don’t suffer the way people do. I am starting to wonder how true this is.
Bella has an inflamed pancreas, a condition that is normally treated with a diet change consisting of low fat and high fibre. Did the Cyclophosphamide cause it? I am assuming it did, as she has never been overweight, nor had fatty meals.
It has been a difficult week, and I have found great comfort by reading about other people’s experiences. Rarely do we suffer unique experiences, and with the aid of the Internet, it is easy to find someone who has been there before.
Please pray for Bella’s good health. I will keep you updated.