A devastating life sentence – RA at its worst

Your life has been shattered into a thousand tiny pieces. You have no hope, no future and you are in constant pain. No one understands. You are alone in your agony.

I was just twenty years old when I was diagnosed with Rheumatoid Arthritis. It’s not easy being told you have developed an incurable condition at any age, but when you are young, and you have acquired a disease more associated with the elderly, it is hard to come to terms with.

I loved being active. I walked my dogs twice a day, played badminton once a week, and often participated in outdoor pursuits. So for me, as a lover of the outdoors, it seemed a cruel diagnosis.

As is often the case, the onset of the disease was harsh and I rapidly lost condition. My resting pulse was over 80, my breathing was permanently laboured, and I couldn’t tolerate being on my feet for more than fifteen minutes. I was wasting away, dieing a slow, painful death. Worse still, I believed I would have to live like that for the rest of my life.

It was difficult to stay positive. I could not sleep; I could not dress myself; I could not raise my arms to brush my hair. Simple, everyday tasks, such as turning a round doorknob or placing a key in a lock were for others. I was useless, completely and utterly. Nothing could motivate me. I wanted to slip away.

Twenty plus years on, it all feels like a distant memory. My disease is in clinical remission and I am fitter and more active than I have ever been. In addition, my difficult days are so rare they act only as reminder of what could have been.

Perhaps I am lucky, or perhaps it is something to do with some of the little things I have done. Either way, as I consider what I have been through it reminds me that no matter how hard life seems and how many doors appeared to have closed, nothing is certain. There is always hope.

More later . . .

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About Honor A Dawson

I live in a rural location with my husband, dogs, cats and chickens. I love reading and writing, watching and playing tennis, and wildlife and nature.

Posted on September 20, 2013, in Rheumatoid Arthritis and tagged , , , , . Bookmark the permalink. Leave a comment.

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